Hey, I’m Tahjai Dominic, and welcome to a 🔒 subscriber-only access 🔒 of my weekly newsletter. I write a letter to my son each week with meaningful advice, life lessons and need to know information that every young man should know. This is a continuance letter, a book if you will, designed to push any young man to keep focus and avoid disastrous mistakes in life. If you are want to receive every letter, upgrade your subscription. If not that is perfectly fine, you’ll still get one letter a month.
My Dearson,
There’s a saying I want you to write down somewhere you’ll see it every day:
“The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life.”
You see, life isn’t just about what happens to you.
It’s about how you interpret what happens.
And that interpretation is usually guided by the questions you ask yourself.
🧠 Why We Ask the Questions We Ask
Let me explain.
From the time you were a kid, your brain has been doing one thing very, very well:
Solving problems.
That’s its main job.
And one of the fastest ways your mind knows how to solve a problem… is by answering a question.
So every day, whether you realize it or not, your mind is constantly asking and answering questions like:
“What if this goes wrong?”
“Why doesn’t anyone notice me?”
“Am I good enough to do this?”
These questions don’t come from nowhere.
They come from:
Your past experiences
The people you grew up around
Your current environment and beliefs
And unless you stop to challenge those questions, they become permanent.
They guide your choices, fuel your fears, and shape the ceiling of your life.
🔍 The Framework: Question → Focus → Feeling → Action
Here’s how this works.
Every question you ask yourself triggers a pattern:
The Question you ask…
Determines the Focus of your brain…
Which drives a Feeling inside you…
Which leads to an Action (or inaction).
Let’s say you ask:
“Why does nothing ever work out for me?”
That question will make your brain search for negative proof.
You’ll start thinking about past failures.
That leads to feelings of frustration, sadness, maybe even shame.
And the action? You probably do nothing. You freeze. You quit.
Now imagine you ask instead:
“What’s one thing I’ve learned from this that I can use going forward?”
Now the focus shifts.
Your brain looks for growth.
You feel hopeful.
You start thinking about what’s next instead of what went wrong.
One question… two completely different lives.
💬 Common Low-Quality Questions (and What to Ask Instead)
Low-Quality Question | Better Version |
|---|---|
“Why can’t I get it right?” | “What am I not seeing yet that I can learn?” |
“Why does this always happen to me?” | “What patterns am I repeating — and how do I break them?” |
“What if I fail again?” | “What if I succeed — and how would that feel?” |
“What’s wrong with me?” | “What do I need to give myself grace and grow from?” |
“Why do they win and I don’t?” | “What do they do consistently that I can study and model?” |
🛠️ How to Start Asking Better Questions (Framework)
Here’s a tool I call Q.S.E. Question. Shift. Empower.
QUESTION
First, become aware of the questions you’re already asking yourself.
Are they rooted in fear, doubt, or judgment?
Are they helping you grow… or keeping you stuck?
SHIFT
Take one of those questions and reword it so it becomes useful.
Focus on what’s possible, not what’s broken.
Use words like how, what’s next, or what’s one small win?
EMPOWER
Anchor the new question with action.
Say it out loud every morning.
Write it down at the top of your planner.
Use it to guide your journaling or reflection.
🧠 A Few High-Quality Questions to Try
Use these to train your mindset like a muscle:
“What would my highest self do in this moment?”
“What fear do I need to face today to grow?”
“What story am I telling myself — and is it true?”
“What’s the next best step, even if it’s small?”
“How would I act if I fully believed I belonged here?”
The more you ask these types of questions,
the more you shift your inner world…
and eventually, your outer results.
🔁 Weekly Challenge
Write down three low-quality questions you’ve been repeating.
Then reframe each one using the Q.S.E. method.
Keep them visible. Speak them daily.
Because better questions → lead to better thoughts → which lead to better actions → which lead to a better life.
🧱 The Final Word
My Dear Son,
The world will offer you a thousand answers.
Most of them will lead nowhere.
But if you become a master of asking the right questions,
you’ll never stay stuck for long.
You’ll build clarity.
You’ll build courage.
You’ll build a life on purpose.
Ask better.
Live better.
Walk like you mean it.
—Dad
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